saya kuat :')

well, i'm still trying to accept the fact

but 

somehow i seem more calm

eventhough i know there are no more US :')

although

deep inside 

it hurt like hell

but

i still manage to pretend that everything okay

i still manage to fake a smile

i still can pretend a laugh

well, i guess

i'm strong

or 

i'm just really good in pretending

acting

and hiding everything behind a fake smile

still

i couldn't hide everything

mama and babah keep asking me to eat

i'm sorry, mama

i'm sorry, babah

it seems like i lose my appetite these few days

but

don't worry bout me

sooner or later 

i will overcome this

so, stop worrying okey?

and

i'm sorry too, "abang bujad"

i have been turning off my phone these past few days

and

you keep calling me these past few days

i know you are worried bout me

but

you should know your little sister better

she can overcome it

she is strong :')

and 

thanks to you "abang bujad"

for giving me some time and space

on my own

i'm seriously need it

thanks for always be here for me :)

now

i'm not fine

BUT

I'M ALL BETTER :')

i would be lying if i say

i'm completely over you

and 

i would be a hypocrite

if i say i'm not sad and frustrated

urm

no matter what

i'm strong

sooner or later

i can overcome this sadness and frustration

all i need is time

to accept all this

though i'm still longing for you

care 

and 

love you

let's it just stay hidden behind 

this fake smile :')